I had no idea...

In February when I found out I was pregnant, I had no idea what I was in store for over the next 40 weeks. I had no idea about all of the worrying I would do, the praying for my baby that I would do, the swelling and of course, the labor. I just had no clue. I do have to say that now that Caleb is almost a month old (I know, crazy!) all of those things were worth it.Much more worth it than I ever thought...

As a new mother, there are some things I have learned in this short amount of time. Here are a few...

1 - I had no idea how much I could love something so quickly and so deeply. At 5:21 October 12th when I met Caleb it was instant love, and that love has grown more and more as the days pass. I love my family, but my love for this little boy is so intense...

2 - I had no idea that I would enjoy sitting in a quiet room alone watching my son sleep. I could sit for hours and just watch him. All of the noises, he faces and movements never get old to me. I could do this for hours, or days, and never get bored.

3 - I had no idea I would be so protective of my son and husband. It is crazy to think that we are now a family. I know Michael and I became a family when we got married, but now we are truly a family of 3. We have a mortgage, cat, and a Christmas letter where we can talk about our FAMILY and not just the cat...the whole shebang. As I look at my family I find myself wanting to protect them and spend all of my time with them. I don't want to expose Caleb to any germs, dirty things or people, etc. I know other people have been parents and know what to do, but I find myself feeling anxious anytime Caleb is out of my sight, or arms for that matter!!!

3 - I had no idea how hard being a parent would be. Like I said earlier, I worried and worried when I was pregnant. I would ask myself things like "Should you eat this?" "Can I do this?" and "I wonder if Caleb can hear this loud music." Now it is a totally different kind of worry. I worry if he is cold, breathing (I know, silly), happy, hungry, feeling loved, peeing and pooping right, etc. When I was pregnant I said something to my mom about being worried, and she said that was just the beginning, and boy was she right!

4 - I had no idea how proud I would be of my family. Michael for one has totally amazed me in his role as "daddy." He is truly amazing and Caleb and I are so lucky to have such a hands on daddy. He loves that little boy and wants the world to know it. He wants to show the world our little man! I am so proud of Caleb. He is such a happy baby, and he is growing so much. He is truly a blessing! Lastly, I am so proud of Michael and me. Together he and I made this incredible human being, and if I do say so myself, he is perfect! For the most part, Michael and I have done this parenting thing by ourselves. I am not going to say it has been easy, but I will say it has been incredible, and something I will treasure for the rest of my life.

I am so proud of our little family....